I sat in the passenger seat with my arms crossed, my body turned, staring out the window. Oh my gosh, I was so angry at him. The events of the day played through my mind on repeat. One example after another of little things that simply ticked me off. Little things that stacked up until one last little thing, a little thing that pushed me over the edge from a place of tolerance to this place of defiance. Now I was angry and not having any of it anymore. No more openness, understanding, compromise. Nope, none of it. Heart closed for business for the rest of the drive home.

Man, I do not like being angry. The feeling is simply so unpleasant to me I avoid it if at all possible. But look out, folks, when this girl gets angry, she’s really angry. I mean, how can one push me this far when I’m amicable and empathetic most of the time? That seems such a righteous statement, but it’s actually fairly true I think – it takes me a long time to get angry. And anger is not a good place for me, for anyone really, but for me it brings with it a feeling of being taken advantage of, being taken for granted, even being betrayed, if even by the smallest of things. In this place all I see is red. One little red thing after another.

God hears a lot from me when I’m angry. Help this go another way, Lord. Help me find the words to explain to him all the little red things he did that got me to this place. Make him see the error of his ridiculous ways. Make him see my innocence in all of this. Please make him come around. Do this, God, and do that, God, and can you believe this, God? Man, c’mon God. Red, red, red.

Arriving home after a weekend away I noticed my daily calendar was a few days behind. I flipped to the current date and read the pithy little message for the day: “Speak God into your circumstances rather than speaking your circumstances to God.” Huh. Flash of red again, but this time across my cheeks. Hot flash? No, not that. Maybe something else. Maybe a little embarrassment, if I’m truly honest with myself.

John 13:7 “Jesus says to his disciples, ‘What I do you know not now, but you shall know hereafter.'”

Well, that’s a powerful little nuance now, isn’t it? God sure knows my perspective on this situation, doesn’t He? But what if I see what God has to say about it all? What if I shift things just a bit? Please help me let this go Your way, God. Help me see through Your eyes and Your Word. Help me set my innocence aside and see Your perfection in all of this. Help us come around. Huh. Funny how quickly my fiery red heart turns to open, soft pink. Seems I’m seeing what God might be teaching me in all of this, what He might be doing in my defiant heart even though I didn’t ask for it. In the soft pink glow of God’s name, good things come into clearer focus.

So today I pray I can more often shift from my view to Yours God. I always have liked pink better than red.